THE PATH OF GUARD OF THE HEART
Spirituality and Vulnerability
When I emerged into the life of a young
adult, it became stunningly clear that the world around me, especially the
world of the social order and culture I lived in, was a coarse, uncaring, and
often cruel place. From this
awareness I found part of the impetus to seek a spiritual awakening, based on
the mistaken belief that if I were spiritually strong enough, I would find an
invulnerability against the harshness and pain of the world of human
beings. As a young male I found
the warrior archetype attractive, and it drew me to the toughness and the
discipline of Zen training in a monastic ideal. Having experienced success in
athletics, and the psychological hardening of football, basketball, and
baseball, I mistook athleticism for spiritual growth, in this case an
athleticism that served me well in the coarseness of adolescent male culture
but that may not apply in authentic awakening and opening to the Divine. I will concede that learning to
discipline myself, albeit for less than sublime purposes, was good preparation
for the development of the spiritual disciplines of daily meditation practice
and the ascesis of kenotic self-confrontation.
Spiritual Practice and Interior Change
The truth is, quite the opposite happened.
The more that I grew and matured in my daily practice and interior spiritual
development, the more the protective armor surrounding the spiritual heart in
my inner being melted, the greater was my experience of sensitivity to the pain
of the world around me, and my own painful empathy with it. I found over time
that awakening makes this exquisite sensitivity of the sanctuary of the heart
less blockaded and more exposed. Instead of a male warrior with his shield
intact against a hostile world, what emerged was a soul with greater
receptivity, warmth, and empathy. My macho world was disappearing and the
illusions I concocted about the spiritual life making me invulnerable were
scattered and lost. I was discovering that the Communion Paradigm of exposed,
open, and self-offering love was the real Kingdom of God, and the only
happiness to be found was there, and not behind the walls of the castle of my
self-constructed self. My choice was clear and I knew the way that led to Life.
Brother Roger of Taize’ says it poetically, “In silence in the presence of
Christ, you heard him say, ‘Come, follow me; I will give you a place to rest
your heart’. And so you are led to
the audacity of a yes that lasts
until your dying breath. This yes leaves you exposed. There is no other way.” (No Greater Love)
Union with God and Divine Sensitivity
When I was on a contemplative prayer
retreat in 1997 with one of my spiritual teachers along the way, Thomas Hand
S.J., he described clearly the nature of the spiritual life. “Spiritual
enlightenment is awakening to Oneness, and fully accepting and living the
consequences.” In the process of
awakening, I learned that the armor we erect to prevent us from the pain of an
empathic and merciful heart also keeps us from experiencing our oneness with
the Divine Beloved, and the exquisite and beautiful sensitivity of Divine
Loving Mercy emanating from the Heart of God. Living in the Communion Paradigm
is a two edged sword. The
experience of communion with God that brings us joy and security also brings us
the experience of interior pain and wounding at the cruelty and pain of the
world where we live. We know we
are not separate, and the exquisite sensitivity of God is alive in us. My first spiritual teacher, Margaret
Jiyu Kennett Roshi, gave this caution to her students. “You want enlightenment,
but you don’t know what you are asking for.” What we are really asking for in
our unfolding journey of spiritual maturation, knowingly or not, is to open to
the Self-Gift of the Divine, and accepting the consequence that this openness
will also open our soul to full vulnerability to the spiritual suffering of
humankind, and the range of temptations and trials of the soul that the
spiritual journey brings.
Becoming the Guardian of the Cave of the Heart
In every mystic tradition
across the globe there are sacred stories and myths about the spiritual quest.
At the end of the quest the seeker must divest of himself or herself every
unworthy motivation and every encumbrance or defilement of the soul that keeps
one from entering the chamber of the Holy with integrity. There are guardian
spirits or entities in the stories whose task is to protect the entrance with
vigilance and to keep out what doesn’t belong there. Failure to observe these
boundaries results in a closing of the sacred chamber to those who seek. In our
own sacred story when we have grown and matured to the point that our own
entrance to the inner sanctuary is open and the armor around the heart has
melted sufficiently that we can enter and warm ourselves by Yeshua’s Fire, then
we, ourselves, must assume also the responsibility to be the guardians of the
sacred Cave. We must keep watch over our own impediments of soul, over the
tempting or violent contagion that may try to enter our sacred chamber. The
exquisite sensitivity that we have found must be protected, or the walls will
come up again and prevent entrance to the Cave of the Heart.
Here is where the warrior archetype
serves us well. The invading energies come from the culture we live in, the
television, the internet, violent, cynical, despairing, or pornographic forms
of entertainment. We must keep watch over the Cave of the Heart, and be its
guardian spirit. That includes not letting harmful, cynical, coveting,
parasitic, or hateful thoughts of our own mind’s creation not gain energy or
entrance or a foothold in our soul. Such thoughts were classified into eight
categories by the ancient desert spiritual elders. While not understanding the
workings of the brain or human psychology, these elders had the correct insight
that giving our vital energies of soul to these thought patterns gave them
powerful momentum over our consciousness. For that reason they called these
extreme obsessive compulsive forms of desire and aversion the “demons” of
gluttony, concupiscence, avarice, sadness, anger, vainglory, pride, and aecidia
or despair. With these our
practice of vigilant awareness and vigilant kenotic release, prevents entry and
diverts these thought forms from gaining any energy or power over our
soul. The spacious loving refuge
of the Cave of the Heart is protected and remains accessible to the conscious
awareness and devotion of the soul. Walking Yeshua’s sacred path, and tending
the sacred Fire of His Presence in the Heart must involve of necessity keeping
watch in vigilance to protect these sacred boundaries.
Yeshua- Our Protection
Some choices we have about what
experiences or influences to be exposed to. Over others we have no choice. We can usually choose to not deliberately
expose ourselves to harmful or degrading entertainment, to personalities that
are cruel, violent, or disrespectful of the sacred, or to influences that might
stimulate us unduly towards anger, fear, or hardness of heart. However, over some influences and
experiences we may have no choice.
In such cases we are guided to seek interior refuge and spiritual
protection when exposed to the influence of these situations, personalities, or
external conditions. One practice
that can be helpful is the use of prayer mantras or visualizations of spiritual
protection. In the tradition of
Celtic Christianity the invocation of the spiritual circle of protection, and
invoking the name of Yeshua or the Trinity is often used. i.e. “O Sacred Three,
Encircle me.” “Lord Yeshua, You are my refuge and my protection.” This invocation of the Holy Name and a
visualization can be quite helpful, both spiritually and psychologically,
involving a circle of Light, or the image of Yeshua, or the Cross. This prayer
of refuge in Christ is taken from the ancient “Breastplate of Patrick:”
Christ be with me, Christ within me, Christ behind
me, Christ before me, Christ beside me, Christ to win me, Christ to comfort and
restore me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me, Christ in quiet, Christ in
danger, Christ in the hearts of all that love me, Christ in the mouth of friend
and stranger.”
A Practice of Spiritual Maturity for Every Age
